July 27, 2007

Well if the sun don't shine

Happy people used to make me sick. All of that smiling. It often reminded me of that old Saturday Night Live skit "Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley" where he talked about "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog-gone it, people like me!"
I had fallen into a youthful sedentary place where it was all about me. What about me. What about my feelings...whowho who. I didn't even care about me but I wanted everyone else to! Most of the time I wasn't happy, but I didn't want anyone else to be happy either! I thrived on partying to make me forget who I was, who my friends were and where we were all heading. Is that what the thirties are about? Woo! I am glad that they are over then. While I think I may puke if I read another self-help encounter at Borders, I am firmly beginning to believe, GET WITH IT! This is not a dress rehearsal! This is the show! Get out there every night as if it were your last. Stop trying to figure it all out! We spend so much time figuring! Once we're done figuring, it's over! Spend time living. Spend time loving.

We've covered the pushing aspect. Now let's look at after birth. Once we have moved out of the casing that housed us, we must breathe and embrace. We must engage in life. The sputtering moments of each breath we take. How does that, whatever it is, make us feel at that moment and then onto the next.

It has become so helpful to me to live each day anewed. I don't recollect what someone said yesterday to piss me off. It may be physiological, as I also don't remember what I had for breakfast, lunch or dinner yesterday; and actually I don't really know who I spoke with, or what the weather was like so all this blogging should be helpful for recall. What I do remember is that I felt good. I loved yesterday. I know that each moment of yesterday I was living. Albeit, I may have experienced anger, or even had a mood, but I didn't hold onto it. I held onto the love and spirit of YES! I AM ALIVE! So, I would like to share today to live in the moment. Live well. Live healthily. Live the best quality of life you can and if you don't exactly make it to the level you were seeking to weigh in at, well wake up the next day and give it an equally attentive pursuit. The better you try to live, the longer you will live. Coping is just not good enough. Dig in!

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