I AM NOT WRITING ABOUT FERGUSON, But I Should be ...

I can not write about #Ferguson right now.

Nor can I write about my youngest going away to school this fall ... in the South ....

As someone who has devoted her entire adult life to law enforcement and being in love with a police officer the last 15 years, I CAN say that generalizing against the police is not the solution.

I will also say, at least in my position, the desire to help and uplift the community is VERY real. From officers feeding, clothing or staying on a case until that person is housed, fed, or given medical treatment is what I see more often than not. Not just police officers, but deputies, probation officers, attorneys, and judges. Brutality is NOT the norm but it IS a horrible, disgusting reality.

I have often given my last $5 to a person in need. So, abuse of power is sadly staining the profession. Law Enforcement, I recently wrote in my last training hour paper, is so often a thankless job. While I am not a beat officer, I really work for the courts, and I see all sides of this argument - ALL. So, yes, give a racist a badge and a gun and well you get #Ferguson.

BUT I AM NOT WRITING ABOUT FERGUSON RIGHT NOW! The mom in me is bleeding inside. The officer in me is bleeding inside. The human being in me is bleeding inside.

The unrest is huge, people. The young men I am servicing on my caseload are afraid that this chance to redeem themselves will be taken away by a blinded officer who is on the hunt with profiling eyes.

My children are not afraid enough. They still believe that if they keep their heads down and stay on their grind - even after being lined-up for playing in their front yard last summer.

In Chicago, the Illinois State Police and Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm have moved in for the next few months on a very important street sweeping initiative. I have no words for what could potentially arise from this; Some good and some very, very bad.

I suppose I am aimlessly writing, ranting, to avoid voicing how I really feel about seeing that baby lying dead in the street for hours, having had no CPR or medical attention or anyone holding his hand as he departed this often wretched world. Tales of a $50 heist leaked to tarnish him... please, that is like the equivalent of being afraid of a child with Skittles and Arizona tea ... oh wait ...