March 5, 2011

Do Our Cyber Relationships Really Matter?

As a new blogger, I spent hours in "Chat" Rooms or "Communities".

Four years ago, in my social media beginning, networking websites were in the birthing stage. They were basically safe places to forum and debate, share ideas, and expose new people to your work. I began on a woman's site, a literary site and a chat-room like site. Many of those relationships remain and continue to blossom. Only one fell off.

It fell off in a manner that leaves me perplexed.

Cyber-world was new. Were we even "friends"? We shared exchanges, debated issues, appeared on one another's blogs. When her area was hit by a major calamity, I worried.

"What is this", was my thinking. I had never spoken to, or met this person!

Once the relationship soured, I did not know how to feel!

Initially I believed the individual was simply busy. Every few months I would inquire either to be completely ignored or given an abrupt reply. What had I done?

Was it something I wrote? Was it something I said?

Could this be a case of high school on the web? And the most important self-analysis I made was "WHY DO I CARE!"

The first year I talked myself into NOT CARING. This did not work however.

I am a caring person. I am passionate and I care deeply on many levels, so ignoring that this relationship was important to me simply did not work.

My inquiries a few times more, as to how this person was doing went unanswered, but once I realized all mentions of me were removed from their site, it became very clear something ticked them off and I was "banned", "scrapped", "unfriended" "disallowed".

Wouldn't you tell someone if they hurt you or somehow invaded your space or do our cyber relationships really matter?

Fast-forward two years and with the birth of "Twitter", I took it to my "peeps" a few months ago.

Here in Chicago, our cyber relationships definitely matter. We have taken it to the mountain-top by making time for each other, meeting up, "tweeting" up and letting the other person know their value.

Everyone suggested I make one last effort and let it go. I did. And I didn't.

Obviously the NOT knowing why is killing me! I know in the realm of things, it is minute and childish on my part. People come and go, like the guy you might see each morning at the neighborhood cafe. You might make a few exchanges until one of you changes your routine, but the impression has been made. That person's spirit has touched your heart and forever been imprinted in your little story.

I write this hoping for closure. Honestly, I don't want to wonder about her anymore. My son suggested a funeral of sorts so that will be the plan today...

I will keep you posted....


Laila said...

This is something I've struggled with. I think twitter has given me a false understanding of e-relationships. There are mommy bloggers in chicago who I've tweeted with and when I met them in real life they basically ignored me and/or were rude. It took a while but I let it go.

Houseonahillorg said...

wow Laila, I am so sorry that has been your experience. I hope that changes ... I for one will hug you once we finally meet!