Okay, you are all pretty aware by now that I am basically happy. Like, I vent and I gripe but afterward, I walk away with a smile. I am not really sure how I do this yet, and blogging really helps me with uncovering me ~~ SO WHY DID I DREAM ABOUT COCKROACHES LAST NIGHT!
Cockroaches are absolutely the only thing I call my mother to cry about. We have all inadvertently brought one home in the brown paper grocery bags (I do not request them anymore) or from being on the bus, or from some other location that has them(hopefully not that last place you had a meal!). It has not happened to me in 3 years or so, so I really have not seen one in a long, long time! (except my cousins keep them in their house, contained, but they are avid entomologists and I have only opened my eyes once to actually SEE them). Their brown bodies, crinky, scrunchy shells and those damn flickering needle-like antennas! EEWWWWWW!!!! They horrify me!
SO, this dream...It was reminiscent of a vampire movie flick. I must have fallen asleep watching the upcoming "Scarefest" being advertised on AMC Channel for Halloween next week. Nonetheless, on a bright sunny day in my dream world -- did I mention I rarely dream?? I usually just sleep peacefully, feeling wonderful, thinking of Miami, on a friend's boat! Anyway, these vampires were battling, flying around biting each other and that just did not faze me at all. It was the cockroach invasion that happened after the last vampire-flying-guy died. The small brown German kind were all over the floor, not in a mass, but rather sporadically placed. One would pop out and then another. So stepping on one at a time was manageable. And I was stepping on them. It was very realistic. Especially as one innocent woman died for no apparent reason. She lay nearby and I just kept stepping, squashing one by one, sometimes even smearing them and their white insides until I woke up!
I had a cup of coffee before I remembered the dream. Then my skin crawled. I vowed that it just could not happen again, so I began searching dream sites. All morning I searched. I have come up with some really good things as a result which is why I am sharing all of this madness with you!! YES POOR READERS, I AM GETTING TO THE POINT!
Roaches, as we all know are usually an infestation. Recall that infamous exterminator advertisement when they repeat,if you have seen one there are usually thousands more behind the wall? Symbolically speaking, I must be having an infestation of something psychologically! Thankfully this entire journey has brought me to -- YES I AM.
So, what can we as movers and shakers do when we become psychologically infested? We remove the infestation at its source! I found that great line from www.beliefnet.com.
I googled, yahooed, msnd "roaches" and "roach dreams" and only when my son came in and said use "ASK" server, did I come across a comment on beliefnet.com that totally made sense to me. We all hate the squishy, yukkiness that life can bring. It detains us. It offsets us and rocks us to the core. Sometimes even making us a wreck, but we mustn't let it! Hunker down into your core. This silly dream could have really side-lined me for weeks, maybe even months, but typically I am free of all that. Luckily I am able to pluck this right out and be done with it immediately. I have been sparring off and on with my manager at work. I know that he is pitiful, needs to grand stand and have attention. He needs to be constantly stroked with accolades and usually I simply oblige at no cost to me. However, most recently I have become fed up. These roaches said enough! I have not indulged this 50 year plus man at all this week. I simply do my job. Period. No niceties, small talk, and no stroking his ego. But it is affecting -- not him, but me! I must quote dear mother and share "Don't let someone change you." I was not really indulging him, I was just being me. Situations arise, and people just can not always get along. This person has their own gunk and I can not take any of it personally. I just need to make sure that I show up everyday as me. I can not let him be the bug that infests my emotional health as Ophelia000 11/18/03 responded on beliefnet.com on the "Roach Board". Yes, there were four postings on the "Roach Board"...I guess it is pretty common to dream about roaches!
So why include the pic of the common name: German cockroach
scientific name: Blattella germanica (Linnaeus) (Insecta: Blattodea: Blattellidae)??
Well, in addition to coming to terms that I need to be me, be happy, be indulgent for me and no one else, has also made me realize that being SO chronically afraid of roaches is REALLY silly. So when I go to my cousins house tomorrow, I am going to open my eyes, look at the critters and thank them for freeing my mind.
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