March 14, 2008

Friends On Friday ~ Focusing On "Absolute Bliss"

As I mentioned on Wednesday, I will be sharing conversations with Tamera Daun, author of "Absolute Bliss", R.N., reiki healer, and life coach. I have come to a new growth reading about her views and am so happy to share them with you! Stay tuned, lots more to come!


Tamera, you so eloquently point out in Chapter One (Happiness and You) of your book, "Absolute Bliss" that life is about the journey.
Life can be fascinating instead of a trepidation if you assert, challenge and meet life "head-on and isolate whatever is bothering you". I LOVE that. You also state in the first chapter that your childhood is in the past. That resonated with me so profoundly because many people really tend to hold onto those misfortunes, unable to get past them. I believe the greatest misconception on the planet is that there are folks who get off without having had ANY adversity. It just is not true...and doesn't happen. Everyone has baggage. You then give the reader permission to put down the book and resume once they are ready.

Further on you share that "you can use your whole future to soul search your past" so, what do you say to the person who fears life, its challenges and its path? What do you say as they try to perpetuate that fear onto their children and others at large?

Back in the 1920's the world's most renown physicists gathered at a convention in Europe. The conclusion that came from that convention was the agreement that they could never really know absolute truths. Why? Because, in actuality there was a possibility that everything they observed around them in the physical world was an illusion. Even they as humans, were possibly illusions. In other words, can I prove that another exists, just because I state that I see/observe them? No, because I may also be an illusion. Anyhow. They found out that they could actually never know. They concluded that the only thing they could continue to do was to repeatedly mimic that which they were observing. And, through this repeated experimentation, they could estimate the probability that what they were observing was correct. Or, not. Yet, they could only describe that which they were perceiving.

Why do I mention this? It is important, because when answering questions, I can choose to approach the matters at hand from a choice of several academic perspectives. I can put on my Nurse's cap, and use one set of terminology. I can put on my cap as a Psychiatric Nurse, and use another set of terminology, and draw different conclusions. And so it continues as a Life Coach, a Holistic Coach, a Nutritionist, an Usui Reiki Master/Teacher, and as a Karuna Reiki© Master/Teacher. They are nothing more that sets of theoretical perspectives. In my opinion, there are absolutely no omniscient experts with that one correct answer to any given subject. There are people who specialize in their fields, yet they have chosen a certain academic approach, and these academics are learned, because someone else decided that which was to be taught. And, so it goes, that the approaches are practices, and they become current procedure. This is true, no matter if they work, or not. Regardless if they create results, or not. A major upheaval is needed before traditional institutions will budge.

This is the most important thing people should keep in mind before they seek help with their problems and issues. By this I do not mean that people should not seek help. By this I do mean and want people to understand that they are the masters of themselves. People are experts about themselves. They just don't always realize this fact, or they have forgotten it. If everyone just really considered the impact of this one idea, they would begin to take their lives back into their own hands, and be less vulnerable by not placing themselves into the hands of another. At least, not without careful consideration.

Everyone is more capable and powerful than they believe. What usually happens is that it gets muddled along the way, and through life experiences. Very often it becomes muddled the most when we are younger. Why? Because, we are so vulnerable in those formative years. Yet, personal power is never lost. We just all tend to hide it. It is always there, so there is no reason to feel that one is in desperate search of something that is not missing. It only needs to be uncovered, and exercised. Just as a muscle becomes stronger with exercise. People need to claim their place in their lives, and strengthen their wobbly legs. This initial starting point starts a whole new ball rolling, and it will gain momentum.

My book is for women and their relationships. Marriage therapy today is based upon talk-therapy. Statistically we know that divorce rates are not decreasing. We know that it is usually women who leave their relationships first, and for a variety of reasons. We also know that men are less willing to seek marriage therapy, than women. I feel that it is because this type of therapy appeals more to females, then it does males. When I came out with my book over in Scandinavia and was interviewed in the media, I received several negative reactions. The basic opinion was that I was too little empathetic to the feelings of the female population, and that I was telling them to, "put their feelings aside, and get on with it". Yet, they viewed it from their theoretical perspectives and their practices. I knew it to be entirely untrue, and this is because there was something that they did not know about my background training. There were a few things that I knew to work, and current relationship therapy is not working too well. This training was my Reiki training. So, when the book was written, it was from the knowledge that when we decide for something to happen, it will begin to happen. Any long-term soul searching is not a necessary prerequisite to develop. We decide to become more aware and develop, and the answers to our questions will show up along the way. These answers provide understanding in such a way, that it becomes easier to heal that which once hurt.

In my couples coaching, I received a nice surprise, and that was that of approximately 9 out of every 10 couples contacting me with questions or wanting help, the contact was instigated by the males. I resonated with them. Believe me when I state that the women in these relationships were not UNhappy about it. They were quite ecstatic, because is not a relationship about the preferences of both people? Men were willing when they felt there was someone capable of understanding their perspective, and the ways in which they problem-solved. Talking has its place in every relationship, but we have to be careful not to overplay it if we wish for men to want to become engaged. Why? Because not all men will SEE that things are getting solved. So very many times we stagnate in the talking-mode, repeatedly reliving all that is not healthy, and we forget about where it is that we want to move towards. It is this way in relationships, and it is so for individuals in relationship to themselves.


More ~ Later

You can read more about Tamera Daun or feel free to contact her! Her information is as follows!

Pentad. Simplifying Life and Love (my active blog where I do most of my daily work)

Absolute Bliss, and other e-books and articles at: (downloadable format)

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